![]() Another cute option is to make a family certificate for each of you to sign or stamp your thumbprint. I personally love the idea of mimicking this ritual with a glitter ceremony, but that’s just my affinity for sparkle. Sand ceremonies also follow the same pattern and provide a memento that can be displayed in your home as a symbol of your new family. You could adapt the unity candle tradition to include your children, or do something similar with a vase of flowers. Unity ceremonies are another great way to express your two families becoming one, and there are a variety of different alternatives. Pressuring kids into something they feel uncomfortable with will only lead to resentment and lots of slamming doors in the teenage years. However, this should only be done at the child’s own choosing. Now you may be picturing the scene from Despicable Me 2 when (spoiler alert!) precious little Agnes hops up on the table during the reception to recite a poem for her new mommy, and no doubt you’d love to have a sweet moment like that on your special day. In addition, the child may recite a few vows of their own. ![]() This special gift serves as a physical reminder to them of your commitment as a step-parent. Try to find something they’ll love today and can continue to love as they grown older. One idea is to parallel the exchanging of rings by providing jewelry or some other trinket for the child. There are a couple of other fun things you can pair with the vows. If you need help, ask your officiant as they may have a general outline or process they’ve used in the past, or check these officiant scripts from Offbeat Bride. The vows can be structured in a number of ways, just like marital vows. Promises to be a loving and supportive parent and guide are standard, but what exactly is said should be genuine words of your own. A recent trend gaining traction is for couples to make vows not only to each other, but to the children as well. ![]() In the case of older children however you may want to do something more personal. Pre-teens and teenagers can also be included in the bridal party as junior bridesmaids or groomsmen. The point is to make the little nugget feel included and loved, not to prove to your guests that you’ll be a five-star step-parent. There’s no sense in making a big show of devotion and affection if it’s just going to go be over the toddler’s head. Of course the most traditional options are the positions of flower girl and ring bearer, which also seem to be the best choice for younger children. Fortunately wedding customs have begun to adapt to the different family dynamics we see today, and there are quite a few sweet ways to honor the blending of your families. Yet, you still wish the ceremony to show that your marriage is not just a commitment to your new spouse, but their children as well. When one of you already has children, it can be hard to find the proper place for them in the more conventional etiquette books. However, all the rituals and rules of a typical wedding can seem intimidating or irrelevant to not-so-traditional couples. ![]() A wedding day is a full of traditions: the white dress, the walk down the aisle, the first dance. ![]()
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